Holidays=crazies???

I am not sure what it is about the 4th of July, but this year it seemed to have equal affects as an eclipse or full moon might. SO it starts a week ago, with hooligan just diappearing. Out of the blue, nothing not an answered text or phone call. So amidst all this I had been planning a trip down to Orange Co to visit some friends. The weekend was great lots of laughing!! So on Mon I get a text from Hooligan, it had been exactly a week to the day since I had heard from him. It was laced with a tinge of attitude nothing really important came from it. I ended up calling him later in the evening and no response. I vaguely remember getting a message at some obscene hour stating happy 4th. Ok so the 4th comes we do our parade, sitting around trying to recoup from getting dragged 2 miles in heat by donkeys, my phone rings, it is stupid cop (he has yet to come up with a name, aside from the retard) so he apprantly calls hands the phone to jamie and runs away. lovely. i talk to him for a min, he tries to explain to me how Jamie has moved zones, from family to friend zone, however he has no idea the actual rules of these zones since he stole them from me. i made them up i make the rules! so the conversation ends with:

Cop boy -"u havent called me in forever"
Me- "u never answer, i text u and i get nothing"
CB - " call me this week i promise i will call u back"
Me- "ok i'll believe it when i see it"

so then i get a call from hooligan, nothing comes of this he is immediatly defensove before i ever say anything! i only get one word answers. so i choose not to fight and hang up.

so yesterday i text him finally about how i would really like to know what happened something along that nature that turned into an obscenly long text. i get an "i'll call u later" in response. later that evening i get a phone call from mr moon. i meet him at the bar. so we drink we end up pamping. it wasnt that good (sorry). so i am ruined. the pamping with Hooligan HOT!! and the pamping with someone who i came as close to Love as i ever have, who he points out we have been seeing each other on and off for 6 years! i cant get excited to pamp. of course i cant tell hooligan he has ruined me for other boys since that would involve telling him about the vening and that would be BAD!! what is a girl to do? tell poop of course!!

so that brings me to today... first mr moon calls. interesting, a tad odd. but i guess that is better than not calling! followed by texting from retard cop! even more odd, so i can already tell it is going to be a bad day. at work like any other bad day, in a funk wanting to go home, but of course i car pooled today so who knows when we will actually leave. but back to the point... so this morning the phone rings the retard cop's ring i am a bit shocked, we actually have a semi-normal conversation. i have decieded that the boys i truly deeply like are the ones i do the most shit-talking too. Hooligan and i couldnt go a day with out it. Retard cop and i cant go a conversation with out it. this afternoon the phone rings again it is Hooligan this is turnign out to be a WEIRD day! so he tries to avoid the subject at hand saying it isnt a good idea to talk about it at work bla bla.. whatever i finaly get him to tell me. it boils down to he got scared and just shut it down. i explain all i wanted was an explination, i understand, (although not really i just want to scream at him grow some balls man!!) i mainly just wanted an explination more than anything else. so with that our 20 min conversation ended with a "call me later when u get off work" so where we are now i dont know. all i know is now i am in a funk, sad whatever. i cant figure out y iam sad, y do i like this boy so much? what is it about him? the only thing logically i can see is his "potential" the way he is now he is no good for anyone! not even himslef. so y is this the one i want to be with?